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Mirzapur - Article - Pas, Mosaru, Mameru And Hath Gharnu
| Pas, Mosaru, Mameru And Hath Gharnu |
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These are the customary systems set up by our ancestors in the early days to help
very poor relatives and friends during weddings. Our parents, grand parents and fore
parents were too poor to feed themselves. Although they worked hard and long hours,
almost 90% of their earnings or food growth was snatched by Royal families or their
higher ranking officers and guards.
Getting a daughter married is more expensive than getting a son married, as parents
of the bride are responsible for all major costs like Mehendi Night, Mandap hire,
Hall Hire and Food etc, additional to the bride's Jewellery and Clothing.
The Grooms parents are responsible for all expenses on their side which includes some
Jewellery and Clothing for the Bride, and Groom, the present day Reception Party,
Photography, Luxury Car Hire, and in most cases a Honeymoon abroad. Some of these
expenses did not exist in the early days. Well, all I can say is that money is speaking
many languages.
In the past our ancestors did not have money enough to feed themselves and that is when
this system was set up.
MOSARU is the name given to the financial help which is given to the bride's mother by
her parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunties and other near relatives, towards the
cost of the wedding
MAMERU is a name given to clothing for the bride, brought by her mother's parents,
uncles and aunties and near relatives.
HATH GHARNU is a name given to financial help given to the bride and grooms by their
family relatives and friends.
PAS is a name given to cash and other gifts given to grooms parents by family relatives
and friends when attending Mandap Ropan
At one time all these customs were set up to help the bride and groom's parents and
were considered necessary, but nowadays, this is not a necessity or a compulsion. In
many cases this custom is abused and we call this DAURY or DAHEJ, which has become a
disease to many Muslim and Hindu communities. In these cases the bride's parents are
the victims and are becoming prey to the groom's parents trying to squeeze as much money,
jewellery or other goods as possible from them.
We need to root out this system and somebody has to give it a start. This is going to
be a difficult task for the beginner, as sometimes this is seen as an insult to some
families and they may object, thus making the situation even tougher.
These days most of us have become financially stable enough to cope with our children's
Wedding Expenses, and so should not be taking help from relatives and friends. Maternal
parents forcibly having to take Mosaru, is in many cases creating a rift in the family
rather than strengthening the relation bond.
Let us all unite to root out Pas, Mosaru, Mameru and Hath Gharnu, customs which are no
longer necessity.
Velji Manji Hirani, Mirzapur |
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